Don’t Let Money Worries Control You
A while back, I read an interview with a famous actor who mentioned lying in bed at night worrying about the mortgage. This actor was well known and appeared to have a steady stream of work; he had even been a James Bond villain. Yet here was a household name experiencing the same worries as many of the world at large.
Money is one of the common threads that weaves through the human experience, and we each have our own personal relationship with it.
Those who have it can be driven like demons to possess more. Those who don’t, can live on the edge of frayed nerves and a sense of vertigo as they stand on the cliff-edge of doom.
Either way, there’s no getting away from the fact that our relationship with money can have a huge effect on our mental health. So, if you have negative issues with money here are some strategies to help you move forward.
Understand your Fears
What exactly are you worried about? Are you anxious about an immediate issue or exaggerating your fears and creating imagined catastrophes in the future?
Try to examine the facts. List your fears and put them in order of priority. What’s the timeline? What actions can be taken to mitigate the or delay the effect, then make a plan.
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Mark Twain
Be Brave
How many of us avoid facing our financial situation? It often takes courage. But until we do that, we can’t move on. So, choose a free morning, preferably a sunny one. Go for a walk to put yourself in a calm mood. Make yourself a cup of your favourite beverage. Sit down and go through your finances thoroughly.
Complete it. Make a map of exactly where you are with your finances. Then put it aside while you come up with a strategy. No, not a strategy six months down the line! This needs to be done within the week.
But first, you need to do the next step.
Forgive yourself
It’s so easy to beat ourselves up for the wrong decisions made in life that have led us to where we are now.
Until we can forgive ourselves, we’re prisoners of the past. Our chains are our shame. Our footprints are dusted with the ashes of regret. We need to stamp our feet and move on.
Apologise to yourself and any loved ones. Breathe deep. And make a plan.
Mindset
Don’t endow money with an elevated status. It’s your servant. Take control.
Did you know money is a collective, non-countable noun such as water, sand, air and luck? When it’s in short supply, it can seem intangible and elusive, but it’s only a trading medium.
When money is scarce, we can spend too much time focusing on the lack. This is like looking into a deep well and bemoaning the low level of water. Focusing on the lack will not get the well refilled, no matter how hard you grumble.
Remember that there’s always a stream nearby. Money is constantly flowing through a wide range of channels. Pick up your bucket and scoop.
Work out your relationship with money. What does money mean to you? Does it equate to freedom, material products, or the ability to sleep at night?
Money itself doesn’t have any power. It has a function, yes, but don’t allow it to take on a persona. It doesn’t deserve it. Put it back in the box.
The power of incremental changes
Just as spending slightly more than our income can have a huge negative impact over time, the reverse is true by being prudent.
In the words of Dickens’ Mr Micawber from David Copperfield:
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen, nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds nought and six, result misery.”
Dickens knew what he was talking about, as he spent a chunk of his childhood living in poverty, working as a bootblack boy. His father even served time in a debtor’s prison.
That proverbial sixpence can have an enormous impact. In fact, if you need a reminder, frame a small coin and put it somewhere prominent. Or put it in your pocket to help you keep an eye on the small change.
Change your internal dialogue
How often do you say to yourself you can’t afford something? How many times do you brush away the possibility of ever having a particular luxury or enjoying a certain experience because of lack of funds?
Banish self-doubt. If you hear a negative statement in your head, add the word yet or at the moment. Nothing’s set in stone. Everything can change. After all, money is like water, isn’t it? Droughts don’t last forever.
Here are some ways to get over a period of money worries
Face the Worst-Case Scenario
Mentally visit the worst outcome that could possibly happen and make your peace with it. Then start doing what you can to avoid or at least mitigate this result.
Prioritise
Don’t look too far ahead. Tackle the immediate problems first and put aside those that can wait. Taking on a long term strategy will dissipate your energy.
Keep Busy with Constructive Action
Plan and keep busy – it will create volition and help you feel empowered, even if in small ways. So write out a plan, look for opportunities, learn a skill, talk to someone helpful.
Box up Your Worries
Mentally encapsulate your money worries in a box and only open that box at specific times. This doesn’t mean that it should be closed for good, but give yourself the power to only open it at times when you are taking constructive action.
Be Kind to Yourself
Many people go through money worries and bounce back; in fact few successful entrepreneurs will have had a smooth trajectory to wealth. Make sure you get enough sleep and eat well – it’s hard to be resilient to any emotional issues when you’re run down.
Gratitude
We hear it all the time. How can we be grateful when we live under a cloud of worry? But it does helpt. If you take time to hear the birdsong, notice the sunlight, enjoy the small things in life, it will give you strength to face the larger issues.
Conclusion
On a final note, if your problems seem insurmountable, remember…
How do you eat an Elephant? One bite at a time.
Please note I’m not a financial adviser and this article is for entertainment purposes only. Please consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions
